Storage Preferences. My wife and I have been married seven years and had fallen into this trap. I would show up and grace her with my presence. Eventually I realized OK, I was helped to realize this was terrible, and that I should as intentional in dating her now as I was when we first met. The first step to finding a cure is identifying the problem.
For us, it was incredibly meaningful to my wife if I owned setting up date nights. At first, this meant some stumbling. But it was better for it to flop while I was getting the hang of it, than for her to own it as a default. So I took it on in full, and it was the best thing for us.
For those of us who have been married for a while, what used to be dinner reservations at a trendy restaurant has been replaced with House of Cards and Pretzel Crisps. In fact, the hardest thing on a car is lack of use. Seals corrode, fluids break down, etc. Engines like to be run regularly to stay in tip-top shape. The same is true for your date nights. Some of us have more dumb holiday events on the calendar with second cousins than we do with the person we say we love.
Fix it. Research says that somewhere between once a week and once a month is best. Set a rhythm. Put it on the calendar. Hold yourself accountable. I might be the biggest offender of phone-checking during date night. But being the worst at something has also caused me to notice the negative impacts of it.
Everybody in the restaurant just saw you check your fantasy scores or insta feed. Worst of all, your wife or girlfriend saw it, too. Leave it in your car, or at least in your pocket. Attentiveness and eye-contact are more important. Time Magazine and Psychology of Popular Media Culture both agree that your phone is giving the middle finger to your date night. Stuff happens. Hell, life happens.
