At an age where so many of my friends are getting engaged or married, starting their families and making progress in their careers, I find myself on a very different path. After eight years of marriage, 10 years together and two beautiful children I find myself navigating through the murky waters of divorce and separation. I was just 19 years old. He was quiet, reserved, and I liked that about him. I always loathed that side of the industry and was very cynical about FIFO relationships.
One night over a few beers James and I discussed this and when I discovered he was on the same page as me, I felt more comfortable spending time with him. I hung out with him any chance I got. I'd pop into his office, sit with him in the dining room. I'd even get up hours before my shift started just to catch the bus to site with him. Just a few things to show how truly smitten I was.
After months of flirting, one fateful shift change and one too many beers we consummated our relationship. From that day forward we spent every moment we could together and spent our evenings sharing his single bed until we were able to acquire a couple's room. Life was easy. We were inseparable both at work and on our breaks.
The hard lesson I would soon learn is there is a difference between being together and being on the same page. Sadly, I learnt this lesson too late. A year passed and a few weeks before our wedding, we found out we were expecting our first child. It was a huge shock at James soon pressured me into resigning as he felt the mine site was not safe for a pregnant woman and he was more than sure he could support us financially.
Here was the thing: going from two very large wages to only one is tricky. James loved spending money, he would blow through his paycheck and then I would supplement his with mine. The loss of my paycheck and the realisation that we would need to follow a budget soon hit home hard for him.
