I was seated across from a tall Spaniard dressed in black jeans and a checkered shirt. We'd "met" a few nights before on a dating app , and I was doing my best to keep the conversation flowing.
It wasn't. Spanish indie pop was blasting, which made keeping the conversation going even harder. I asked him about himself and his background, and in between the loud music, I thought I heard him say he lived with his parents and younger siblings in the suburbs. I found that a bit unusual, considering he was in his mids. We ordered several small plates to share, and at the end of our meal, he asked the waitress to split the bill in two and proceeded to tap his card to cover his share.
He then waited for me to do the same. Once outside, he declared that we should go to a trendy club nearby and grabbed my hand to lead the way. I hadn't been clubbing in years and wasn't particularly up for it, but felt awkward cutting the date short as we'd barely had a chance to talk.
Before Spain, I'd been living in Australia with an American roommate. It was , a year after the launch of Tinder. Being from Mexico City, I was unfamiliar with American dating culture, so she coached me through my first few dates. One piece of advice she passed along was to take note if a guy didn't pay for you on the first date: It's a guy's way of letting you know that he's not interested in you romantically, she warned. My local friends assured me they were having the same experience, so I didn't get offended or think they didn't like me.
It could be because of low wages in Spain. Lower wages are one reason it's common to run into guys still living with their parents in their 30s, but it's not the only reason. I've had friends move back home to save for a house deposit and have also met men in their 40s living with their parents following a divorce. Being from Mexico, language wasn't an issue for me, but I did find it hard to find things in common with men.
