A specially-trained therapist details why she is passionate about helping couples achieve a satisfying sex life. Sex has to do with power dynamics in the relationship, and how people conceptualise and think about sex. Fontana, a certified sex therapist at All in the Family Counselling for eight years, helps couples achieve a healthy sex life by breaking down misguided ideas and beliefs about sex. Fontana tells SmartParents about her vocation, which includes dealing with common sex issues and how parents can talk to kids about this tricky subject.
I want to help couples, and sex is a part of every grown-up relationship. In order to provide my clients with the best possible care and outcome, we need to be able to talk about sex. Even when couples come in with non-sex-related issues, they need to have proper information, understanding and tools about sex.
You also need ongoing training in various theories and therapies, such as cognitive behavioural therapy, systemic therapy and trauma therapy. And all this time, you need to have a senior therapist oversee your work until you get enough hours and experience in clinical work. Once you have sufficient clinical experience, you need specialised training.
In adult relationships, things that have nothing to do with sex affects sex. Sex therapy is really about relationships, and what couples need to do to maintain a good relationship, thereby improving intimacy. I see both individuals and pairs. If you want to work on your marriage, you can come in and do so on your own. You have per cent control over your half of the marriage. Also, not knowing how to handle initiating sex and dealing with turning down sex.
Vaginismus is usually related to anxiety, a fear of pain and negative beliefs around sex. Sometimes, people use dilators as well. If couples want to work on their sex life, we can work on that. But focusing on conceiving is best left to an obstetrician. Sex therapy is about pleasure and enjoyment when having sex. In contrast, getting pregnant is work.
