I wrote a post last week about the reality of being a sex worker in a relationship , explaining that it's sometimes good, sometimes hard, often complicated. Well, I have intimate experience with one of the greatest media-fed taboos in sex-worker romances: I fell in love with a client once. It was completely unexpected.
I have generally been good with emotional boundaries, having been in nonmonogamous relationships for years; I knew how to keep people as close or as distant as I needed to. It was part of what made me a good sex worker. Or so I thought. I remember the session.
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He had sent me a long email detailing this crazy scene that really weirded me out, and I was nervous about it; particularly as a pro-domme, I tended to make it clear that I would do as much or as little as I wanted, but I still wanted to satisfy some of the client's needs. This one wanted me to spit in his face and restrain him in a variety of intense ways as I humiliated him, things I didn't tend to do with my lovers at home. I worried we wouldn't click well during the session, but I was determined to try.
I walked into the dungeon, and he was so attractive that I couldn't believe it. Only a few years older than me, hot, and submissive? It seemed like a dream. I gathered myself together, determined to offer a dominant experience that would be sexy for us both, and then just walk away. I tied him up and called him all manner of humiliating things and found myself turned on by how he reacted, by the way he writhed for me.
I found myself relaxed, comfortable, enjoying myself even more than usual. When he left, I stopped myself from asking him out for a drink and took the train back home, confused but figuring I wouldn't see him again. He wrote back the next day wanting to book another session that week. I agreed and instantly felt butterflies in my stomach. I felt so unprofessional, so unsteady. There was a forum for sex workers, and I posted there, asking if any of the girls had ever felt that kind of attraction to their clients before.
