To me, sex is like basketball: a pleasurable activity you can do with alone or with others, with varying degrees of formality. And pickup basketball can be quite invigorating. After four years with an exclusive, committed partner, they usually know at least four to six things that you reliably like doing.
Casual sex , of course, can suffer from its newness or lack of intimacy on occasionβwe all have lackluster one night stand stories. But casual sex offers novelty. Because the delicate bubble of casual sex is very easily burst, here are some guidelines for making casual sexβ¦ well, casual. Own more than one towel. Own at least as many pillows as there are sex participants. Perhaps the most important thing to have on hand?
Buy 17 different kinds so you can switch it up every night! Casual hookups can be militantly Sex-Only, or they can involve a drink or two at a nice bar with some Michelob Light-grade conversation. Smoke a bowl. Invite someone over and tell them a little too much about red wine flavor profiles, which you learned from YouTube videos. Show them a video of your dog trying to climb a tree to get a squirrel. Avoid digging deeper.
This goes for activities as well as conversation. Or, more likely, one person gearing up to want more than casual sex. The sine qua non of one-time sex is that it requires so little of us. If, however, you two fall into the horny pattern of repeating your no-strings boning, you need to establish some boundaries, especially if you ever see one another outside of the bedroom.
Casual sex does require some work after all. Prolonged proximity leads to intimacy, whether you like it or not.
