But 1 Corinthians 7 is different. It is explicitly prescriptive. Of course, the first awkward thing we have to deal with as Christians is that both Jesus and the apostle Paul considered celibacy to be a higher calling than marriage.
But if they are not practicing self-control, they should marry. Why is this a problem for Paul? How many free love communes from the sixties are still around today? The bulk of 1 Corinthians 7 is Paul trying to explain why being celibate is actually the best option. Any form of sex that exacerbates our anxieties is unholy and unhealthy.
Good order. In other words, Paul is reiterating that haphazard sexual intimacy can wreck a community. Sex is never a private interaction between two people.
As Christians, part of our thinking about what we do with our bodies has to involve the question of whether we are enhancing or sabotaging our communion with God.
If my goal is to experience union with Christ, then everything I do, including sex, is part of accomplishing that goal. And indeed sex can be! Freedom from anxiety, good order, and unhindered devotion to the Lord. Love of self, love of neighbor, love of God. When we form our sexual ethics with these three criteria, we can pursue a much deeper holiness that is grounded in ascetic mysticism rather than moral legalism. I would rather counsel people of every possible nuance of identity to find the best way to live an unanxious life of good order and unhindered devotion to the Lord.
