Anna Akbari logged onto OkCupid, looking for someone who matched her energy and curiosity. He worked for Morgan Stanley and the U. They wanted to meet in person, but she was leaving for a trip to California and he was working in Washington. Major East Coast snowstorms disrupted their plans. They flirted, argued, fought, and made up, and the emotional intensity increased.
They made plans to meet in New York. Ethan promised to meet her at the airport when she flew back from California, but a crisis at work kept him in Washington. They planned to meet again for dinners and an opera, but there were more last-minute cancellations. Finally, Anna grew suspicious. In the United States, as more than Catfishing predators create false identities. Currently, there are few legal remedies. In , Oklahoma became the first American state to have a law providing a remedy for people whose photographs are used to create a false identity, including monetary damages and a legal injunction against the perpetrator Derzakarian, Catfishing has likely become so prevalent because many people live lonely isolated lives.
In , U. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy issued a health advisory warning that loneliness and isolation pose a significant threat to our emotional and physical health. For Akbari, another reason for catfishing is power. People with narcissistic personalities have a dangerous need for attention and power over others. They use emotionally abusive techniques such as love bombing and gaslighting to manipulate their victims and keep them off balance, leading them to doubt themselves.
But this kind of emotional manipulation can happen in any toxic relationship, Akbari explains, whether in person or online and she warns us to watch out for the signs. Are you caught in a relationship of constant melodrama, manipulative love-bombing, pain, and uncertainty?
You may want to talk to someone you trust or seek the support of a therapist. This post is for informational purposes and should not substitute for psychotherapy with a qualified professional. Akbari, A. Personal communication. Unless otherwise indicated, all quotes and references are to Anna Akbari. Derzakarian, A. The dark side of social media romance: Civil recourse for catfish victims.
