Posted April 28, Reviewed by Abigail Fagan. She remembers what he said before sexβthat he was into her, found her attractive, liked herβso she is hopeful that a relationship will grow out of a night of sex. Of course, there are men who have sex quickly and still work toward cultivating a meaningful, intimate relationship afterward.
Feeling vulnerable, she may then make herself overly available to him for further intimacy by texting, visiting him, or pursuing him to the point at which the balance of power becomes painfully skewed. You enjoyed the attention , the experience, and the validation of his undivided attention during the encounter. You want more, and you want to know that he does too.
Unfortunately, without developing a meaningful connection in which the man feels a level of respect and a vested interest in you in general, you may be setting yourself up for rejection and disappointment, even if everything he told you before and during the encounter indicated you had a future. Often, a relationship after first-date sex is not something you can count on until he follows up words with actions. This can be difficult when your feelings compel you to have sex on the first date.
They're not examples you can hang your hat on. If you really like a person, sleeping with him or her right off the bat is less likely to help you cultivate a meaningful, intimate relationship over time than if you wait until you've created more connection, reciprocity, and mutual investment.
Suzanne Lachmann, Psy. Suzanne Lachmann Psy. Me Before We. Manage your expectations while trying to cultivate a relationship. Stories of one-night stands that lead to marriage tend to be the exception, not the norm. Before having sex with someone with hopes for a relationship, it helps to build connection, reciprocity, and mutual investment.
