In recent years, dozens of queer Azerbaijani citizens have fled their homeland due to persecution for who they are. Others look for shelter in European countries while some relocate to neighboring countries where it is easier to settle, despite the fact there are fewer guarantees for their safety. Pari Banu is one of those who recently made her home in Tbilisi, in neighboring Georgia. When I met Banu in Baku, in January , we had a long conversation during which she told me that it's really difficult to be kind of "be outside the box" in a conservative society like Azerbaijan, especially in the context of gender.
Refusing to fall into accepted male or female roles makes you an outcast. She said that it was really a struggle to live in a society where even the color of your trousers, or wearing earrings can be a trigger for others. Pari Banu in a blouse while shopping in a second-hand shop, Tbilisi, August Act like a man! Behave like a woman! But I have always been curious about what it means to be a man or to be a woman. Isn't it simply possible to move away from this primitive binary stuff?
Does it really matter if somebody has a penis but they are effeminate and caring, or if you have a vagina but you are masculine and dominant? Pari Banu during her collaboration with an Azerbaijani painter. Baku, March After we met a couple of times for shootings, she told me about her family, which is very conservative. Even a floral tote-bag was enough to start a debate and become an issue. It is so shameful! Banu told me how she agreed to serve in the military because her mother convinced she should.
Her tour of duty was defined by terror and depression. In addition to hazing and bullying, Banu said soldiers tried to persuade her to have sex. She always said no so they would punish her by locking her in the toilets and storage facilities at night and beating her.
One of the soldiers told her he would find her after she left the army and kill her. The only photograph with her family that Banu has: Banu, her mother and brother. However, my parents were extremely strict about it, especially my father. But I've always had a brave personality. Then, I got punished for doing it. So I always just ask myself⦠Why? Is femininity a curse for a boy?
