Katie was the first woman on a dating app to ask me out. Dating men was like trying to find hay in a needle stack, but dating women reminded me of a meteor shower in Palm Springs I stayed up to watch years ago. I saw a handful of evasive, shy shooting stars out of the corner of my eye, and by the time I glanced in the right direction, they were already gone.
My first date with a woman was with Gretchen, a tall artist from a showbiz family. We mutually ghosted each other. Nevertheless, my interest in shes persisted. Was I having so much trouble dating women because I was just a run-of-the-mill straight interloping fraud, and the real queer community could tell?
I grew up boy-crazy in sleepy, sterile Orange County. I moved to L. My first boyfriend, a beautiful golden retriever man and the love of my life, became my husband, and the rest was hetero-passing history until we decided to experiment with nonmonogamy and explore our bi-curiosity.
As for Katie, she invited me to a bar that she mentioned was right next to her place in Santa Monica, a detail that made me spend extra time deciding what underwear to put on. On a warm Thursday night, I could smell the ocean from our table outside as she told me about being polyamorous in New York before moving to L.
She also was married to a man but exclusively dating women. She was much more successful at it than I was. I worried that asking bluntly for her feelings would kill my chances if she was just making up her mind about me. We were both surprised to hear it was last call at p. She said the beach was kind of far, but we could start walking there and see if we made it.
