Why would I want to disrupt that? It feels free to focus on what makes me happy instead of trying to be the perfect girlfriend or wife. My choices are about me, not an audition for anyone else. When I was in my last year relationship, I felt trapped and not so happy.
He abandoned me one day and ended up with another gal who he married out of the blue, and I was shocked and upset. It was a blessing in disguise. I prefer never to feel that way again. So unless an awesome man shows up and enhances my life in every way, I will continue to be single. Luckily, I didn't have kids with any of them. Sometimes, one can be very alone, even in a long-term relationship.
I am stubborn and do not want to be subservient or dominated. I find men exhausting, tiring, lazy in romantic relationships, boring, taking up way too much space, and overall imposing, intrusive, and energy-draining. Healthy men look to be of service. Toxic men are seeking servants. It is rare and almost impossible to meet a healthy man that I am sexually and physically attracted to.
Plus, endometriosis can mean sex can be painful. I don't have plans to be with anyone any time soon. I'm still working on becoming 'me,' and I don't want to be in a relationship just to be in one.
Some day, when I want companionship again and can give and receive all that a relationship entails, I might be open to being in one again. HBO Films.
