Dear Eric: I am a latesomething. When I told my mom I wanted to go to law school, one of the first things she said to me was that I would most likely never find a life partner.
Of note, I am the only woman in my family in my generation with a college degree. I am also the first attorney in my family. I am now three years into my career. I have been very successful in my work, but woefully unsuccessful in dating. I have tried dating apps. I have tried exploring my hobbies. I have tried asking friends to set me up, all end up fruitless. Looking at it objectively, I think my friends fail to realize that we all live in the Deep South, I am Black, and not the traditional standard of beauty set by society.
The friends I mention are not Black and have not had to navigate through society with a double consciousness. Middle seat or aisle? The bad news is I do not have a travel itinerary for you. It may feel like you made a tradeoff, but what it shows is an investment in yourself. You may also be telling yourself a story that could use adjusting. Quite the opposite, actually. Dear Eric: My friend of 40 years moved away several years ago. She is alone and I helped in many ways with her move.
I went to visit, called and stayed in touch with visits, driving two hours to see her. She called me recently to tell me all the things she does not like about me, some pretty cruel stuff, and I was crushed.
I told her, I hear you, and that I was going to keep my distance and let her go. I thought of trying to work it out, yet I feel so hurt and truly do not want to be friends with someone who would treat me this way.
