Gas was 78 cents per gallon back then. The Berlin Wall was still standing. And on that chilly April evening, I was sitting for the first time with my future wife at a restaurant in Manhattan. So If I possess any high level game in dating, it would be like those other forgotten games—cribbage, backgammon, Parcheesi—gathering dust in the attic. But I must have done something right in the romance game. Tara and I hit it off, and we got married 16 months later.
And I do have some theoretical expertise in the subject, as well. I devoted a decade, more or less, to researching a multidisciplinary book on love songs. This forced me to learn the history of dating, marriage, and sexuality—going back thousands of years.
I studied the great seducers, and found that they often play the lute. But all that history is beside the point. It must be in short supply, because I hear lots of complaints from singles. But people want to tell me things. The latest incident was yesterday evening. A young guy took my order, but then he started up this conversation. TED: About young people in relationships. People from your generation have no idea. It just creates so many distractions.
You had a much simpler situation, with just a small network of people. TED: Yes, I met my wife on a blind date—we were set up by a mutual friend. I could tell that he had strong feelings about this subject. I think he wanted to talk about it more, but his boss gestured for him to take care of another table. Otherwise he would have had a lot more to say.
I should add that he is a young, good-looking guy. But he clearly was. And how do you break out of the app cycle? Some people are starting to take desperate measures. I keep coming back to the paradox.
