I still remember the first time the purposeful ambiguity of college dating dawned on me. She had no idea whether he even liked her — as if spending all your time with someone indicates anything other than interest. Since at least , several news outlets have attempted to create a vocabulary that describes the common — and bizarre — dating behaviors people experience today.
Being ambiguous about romantic involvement is a supposedly desirable approach to relationships that goes hand-in-hand with the supposedly chill vibe of college life. To try and understand why people in college are so vague about the way they talk about dating, I sat down with 15 students ages We laughed, ate snacks, and bonded over common dating experiences, but mostly, what they had to say was not great.
It was clear the language people are using to describe dating behaviors is overwhelmingly un clear. This ambiguity is incredibly frustrating for people who actually want to pursue serious relationships. If two people are dating casually and one catches feelings and expresses a desire to define the relationship, they may worry their partner feels differently.
The very nature of college — an exploratory period of life where your whole path is essentially up in the air — often goes against what a serious relationship needs: time, care, commitment, and a forward trajectory.
I think that lack of establishment in one place deters a lot of people from making a commitment. According to the U. Census Bureau, the estimated median age for first marriage is now 27 for women and 29 for men, up from 20 and 22, respectively, from to Since , that age has increased every five to six years. As more people adopt these behaviors, they become a trend.
