We never discussed it beyond the general basics most children learn, no one is allowed to physically harm you, make sure you tell us if you are being bullied, and never bully or physically hurt anyone else. Abuse in relationships was not a topic of conversation because it did not need to be. I had a large close-knit group of girlfriends, I am close to my parents, brother, sister, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
I was the girl who would say with pride that I would never let anyone, especially a boyfriend, hit me. I knew that it existed in the world and I knew it was bad if it happened, but I had no idea it was called Domestic Violence, and I definitely had no idea how deeply dangerous, manipulative, gradual and lonely being abused was , until I met Phil.
Phil and I met at the age of I was a happy, healthy and confident teenage girl. He opened up to me immediately sharing the struggles with his family life growing up. It made me feel trusted and loved. He told me how his father was abusive to his mother and he hated him for it. With the amazing upbringing I had experienced it was difficult for me to imagine living in a violent environment. I wanted to support him and be there for him in any way he needed me.
I happily took on the task of making him feel loved and supported no matter what, it was me who was going to show him unconditional love.
Our relationship started as a dream, we were young and thought I was in love. For the first 6 to 8 months everything was great. Of course I felt loved. It made me feel like he loved me so much that it hurt him when other men paid attention to me. It made sense to me that the least I could do was not wear shorts that attracted the attention that made him uncomfortable.
