At that point, we had most definitely broken the cardinal rule of first dates by discussing politics, religion and children. I met Andy when we were working on the same project at a consulting firm in Washington, DC. We bonded over our shared anxiety about using public restrooms.
Afterwards, we began to speak more frequently and eventually began dating. Our first date conversation regarding religion was only the beginning of our continued dialogue. As we became closer and our relationship grew more serious, we learned to traverse our religious differences together. I am a Ukrainian Jew who identifies most with Conservative Judaism. While I am not shomer Shabbat I do not keep to the strict rules around observing Shabbat, such as not using electricity , I do keep kosher, go to Shabbat services at least once a month, and make sure to light candles and say kiddush on Fridays.
Andy was raised Catholic but dislikes organized religion and considers himself somewhere in between agnostic and atheist. Thankfully, one of the most significant strengths of our relationship is our ability to communicate effectively.
Our conversations regarding religion, while sometimes difficult, have been meaningful and have helped us to better understand each other. While I was following some traditions and was involved in Jewish learning, there were still many things I was ignorant about.
In the past, I had assumed that my partner would be Jewish and would be in charge of most of the religious traditions. When I realized that I would be the partner that would take that role in our home, I began to learn as much as I could. It was an amazing experience that helped me to take more control over my religious beliefs and practices. As we spoke of marriage and children, Andy devoted time to learning more about Judaism too.
