Maybe it was a sexy vacation fling that ended when you both returned to your respective corners of the world or a summer of dating filled with sweep-you-off-your-feet romance. The key ingredient that can make the end of these memorable short relationships so painful is the hope of it all. The idea that a short relationship can be just as painful if not more so as one with a longer shelf life cuts against general guidance about how long it typically takes to heal from a breakup.
It makes sense that knowing someone longer generally means a deeper bond, and therefore more pain when that bond severs. This lack of information can make it especially tough to reconcile a breakup after a shorter time together because it gets your mind turning with possibilities. Thompson says she sees this dynamic often among her clients. The issue with regret is that it can kick off a cycle of rumination and self-criticism that can impair your ability to live in the present.
One way to reframe that regret is to focus on appreciating the relationship for what it was. Naturally, you can still miss this person and how they made you feel, but that mental shift can be a helpful check when you find yourself fantasizing about them and the relationship in a way that dips into regret.
Understanding that some of your relationships will end is all a part of that. With these tips, short relationships can turn into interesting stories, memories, and learning experiencesβor fodder for song lyricsβinstead of regrets that keep you up at night.
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