I have a man I love very much. They are: Half the time he comes really fast and the other half it takes a while. Another thing is he loves having anal sex, but it just hurts me so much. One out of three times I end up bawling and that just kills the mood. He tells me to relax, but moves anyway. Any suggestions on anal, roleplaying for beginners, and finding ways to make him come better not faster?
I want him feeling as good as I do. Sex should feel good! For both of you! Give yourself permission to be yourself in the bedroom. Do you like anal stimulation? Have you explored this on your own? Have you ever inserted a soapy finger in there while in the shower? What about a well-lubed finger along your perineum? How does that make you feel? Is there a teeny bit of excitement?
A lot of excitement? The better you know yourself, the better you can communicate your needs and desires. And go insanely slow. Warm your asshole up. For more on lasting longer in bed, see my previous column. And before you dive into roleplaying, you need to sit down and have an actual conversation about it. Again, think about what you might like doing, what fantasies you find the hottest, what you feel comfortable exploring, and then ask him what he likes in return.
See where your fantasies overlap. It can be as basic as stepping the tiniest bit out of your usual self. But please please with a popped cherry on top, start prioritizing your own pleasure. For the sake of your relationships and the integrity of your rectum, you owe it to yourself to care about you. You do you, as the great philosopher, Drake, reminds us. Anna Pulley is a RedEye contributor. Got a question of your own? Email redeyedating gmail.
Or let her send you overly personal emails here. By Anna Pulley. More in Things To Do. Trending Nationally 2.
