Surviving an affair and recovering from infidelity is a very unique struggle. Those who have been through this traumatic event will tell you there is really nothing quite like it. One of my callings as a counselor is to help people on all sides as they work through both the causes and the effects after the affair โ the pain, separation, confusion, grief, and conflict that can result. Throughout our sessions together, I will emphasize the importance of building trust. Trust is like a glass sculpture.
It takes time and careful skill to make. It can also be smashed into hundreds of pieces with the momentary strike of a hammer. It can be rebuilt, but it takes time. The shards of broken trust can easily cut and cause bleeding. Broken trust hurts, and it is nasty stuff to wade through without guidance. Right intent is also crucial to rebuilding trust after the affair. Depending on who you talk to, trust, once broken, is irreparable. Others will say that you should always stick in a marriage, no matter what the other person has done.
How is it possible to rebuild trust when your spouse has just done the one thing your spouse said they would never do? This question surfaces often. The unthinkable has happened, and your spouse has cheated on you.
These moments can feel like a living hell. From the Christian perspective, there is the question of biblical mandate. From the point of view of many theologians and biblical scholars, once sexual immorality has taken place, the wronged spouse is permitted to but not required to divorce his or her spouse, according to Matthew But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.
The moment he found out, Mark told Mary to get out. He sat in the dark on his couch and cried for days. It took time, but he got through it with the help of friends, his pastor, and occasional counseling. Throughout their marriage, Mark had grown increasingly emotionally distant, concentrating on earning his degree and studying enough to successfully defend his Thesis. Mark and Mary would often get together with friends, but rarely did they make time for dates or just concentrated one-on-one time.
