A sign of health in your marriage is that you hear the other when the issue of getting help is raised. Your marriage and family relationships are your deepest and most profound treasures.
Yet, like a precious metal that becomes tarnished, your cherished relationships can sometimes become lackluster and dull. Problems emerge in any loving relationship. Most of the time you take these problems in stride. Sometimes, however, a problem becomes more than you can handle. The relationship you value the most moves into dangerous territory. When you married, you and your spouse declared before your family and friends that you would hold and cherish each other for a lifetime. Your marriage covenant testifies to your shared bond of friendship, love, and partnership.
Did you believe that your love for each other helps make the world a better place? You might be feeling right now that the dream has faded and perhaps are feeling discouraged. It is possible to give new life to your dreams. When a problem emerges that test your ability to solve it, your friendship and love can be threatened. When you become physically ill you seek help by consulting a doctor. When your marriage begins to hurt it might be time to seek the assistance of a qualified counselor.
These signs might indicate you might have a problem that is testing your ability to keep your relationship intact. If you recognize any of these signs as affecting your marriage, then maybe it is time to act. Marriages endure their share of bumps and bruises. Problems are a part of life. But to listen to your spouse when things get serious is itself an act of love for your spouse. In my experience as a marriage counselor, early action by a couple creates the best possible outcome. When a couple has access to a workplace employee assistance program, for instance, they can often address problems when they emerge, rather than waiting until the problem becomes worse.
Think of the benefits of acting early. Use the list above to help you sort through the normal bumps of a marriage versus a more serious problem. Most states have some form of licensure for counselors. This means that counselors must have a degree that meets certain standards on counselor theory, practice, and ethics. When you choose a counselor you want someone who is licensed in your particular state and who has graduated with a Ph. Asking friends, family members, pastors or doctors for referrals is a good way to narrow down you search.
