Casual Sex or No Sex? I know a few boomer women who have given up sex. Their primary reason is that they're not in relationships and they're not interested in casual sex. While most of these women would like to become sexual again, they prefer to wait for the in-love version.
I agree that absent a loving partner casual sex is preferable to none. But both attitudes deserve respect. Shifting Attitudes The articles about casual sex are a leap forward for women, and the lack of many judgmental comments from men points to shifting attitudes about women's sexuality. The historic double standard that promiscuous men were manly, and promiscuous women were tramps or worse, appears to finally be dying.
This shift represents a cultural moral sea change. Boomer women no longer feel any need to defend their sexuality. Some self-appointed morality police attach sexual labels to women who engage in casual sex, but no one has moral authority over anyone's sexuality. An Unsatisfying Cycle I'd never been celibate for any significant period and I practiced casual sex between long-term relationships for decades. And like the women who wrote about their casual sex experiences, I practiced it with partners who were amenable to a relationship, albeit one lacking emotional intimacy.
But absent an emotional connection the sexual excitement wore off when the newness faded, and I ended up where I'd started, seeking another partner. Suddenly, what felt like a personal tragedy struck. My sexual top gear went missing. I wanted it back but didn't have a clue where it was. I'd been meeting with a group of guys for more than a decade, and while we had an ongoing dialogue about relationships, sexual issues hadn't been brought up much.
Frankly, this isn't something most boomer guys are keen to share. But I was growing increasingly anxious, so I brought up my missing top gear. A fellow my age said he'd been married for thirty-years, and that he and his wife were still having hot sex three or four times a week. I was in awe, envious, and angry with myself for not knowing what he apparently did. You Gotta Be Kidding I asked his secret. While I knew he wasn't an anomaly, I didn't have a clue how to include emotional intimacy in a relationship.
