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Join the discussion and meet other Mumsnetters on our free online chat forum. First let me say of course men and women can be friends. I'm my circle there are several men I call friends. What I'm specifically talking about are those very close friendships where they almost always meet up , are "best" friends, know intimate details of each other's lives.
They may have met partners the odd time but partners aren't generally included in the friendship or meet ups. Is it just me or do these often middle aged men only ever have these kinds of friendships with women younger and more attractive than them? I know two men who have a number of these kinds of friendships. I think the women genuinely do see them as friends, very useful father figure type friends who will do their DIY and pick them up if they need it late at night, be emotional crutches when they're between relationships, but I'm not convinced at all about the men's motives.
They never seem to have these close "plationic" relationships with women older or less attractive than them. It's a really unpopular opinion on here, but imo men and women cannot and should not be friends at all. My parents not that old , my grandparents, and basically everyone up until say years ago - it would be unheard of for a man and a woman to be close friends. And yes, why do men always fall over themselves to 'help out' females they'd be attracted to.
Never women significantly older than them, and never males either unless v v close friends already. Genuine question - do you think people who are same sex attracted can have close friends of the same sex? And can bi-sexual people have any close friends at all? I've often wondered this when people say men and women can't be friends cos one always wants more than friendship Far more often than not though, if the opportunity was there, he'd have sex with the 'friend'.
At least if he was single. But then men view sex a lot differently to women. Log in to update your newsletter preferences. I have one of these friendships. I'm actually a couple of years older than him and by no one's yardstick am I attractive.